"HITMAN" by Parnell Hall (A+)

I cannot recall a book that has been more fun to read than this just published Parnell Hall novel about private eye Stanley Hastings. I was chuckling out loud while I was reading it, much to the annoyance of my wife, who was trying to read another book. I couldn't wait to tell you about this delightful literary treat, even to the point of seriously considering the idea of sending out a preview review just to advise you to rush out to your bookstore or library to get a copy. Not tomorrow or next week, but right now, today, and the sooner, the better.

There may be other novels out there that are better written or more important from a literary standpoint, but you would be hard pressed to find one that is as much of a joy to read as this one. It is the very definition of why life can be so greatly enhanced by curling up with a good book.

It is a fun read as well as being a fast read, and the dialogue will leave you in stitches. Stanley is a linguist at heart who cautiously chooses every word with the greatest of care. He is one of those people who can be very annoying because he answers every question with another question. Hastings loves to parse words, and this aspect of his personality tends to drive everyone else nuts. His favorite word is "hypothetically," since he doesn't want to leave himself hung out to dry by talking specifics with lawyers and policemen.

The word play between Hastings and the other characters is absolutely wonderful. May Parnell Hall never suffer from writer's block in his crafting of these give and takes. This is the 16th Stanley Hastings novel by this author, and I already have my request in for the first of the series as my next read. I want to find out what this delightful shamus has been doing for the last 20 years.

Stanley Hastings is a part time gumshoe who makes a mediocre living working for an ambulance chasing lawyer in New York City. Even though he works in one of the toughest towns in the world, Stanley doesn't carry a gun. In fact, the term "Brave" could never be used to describe him. Neither could the term, "bright." More like "plodding." In most of the private eye novels that I have read, the detective is usually the smartest guy in the room. However, in this novel, Stanley Hastings is most likely the slowest guy in the room. Not dumb at all, though, just thoughtful and logically circuitous.

There are three main people in Stanley Hastings' orbit, and all of them, including his wife, find that a little bit of him goes a long way. His main source of income comes from Richard Rosenberg of the law firm, Rosenberg and Stone. Rosenberg is a smart but very lazy ambulance chasing lawyer who is always trying to cherry-pick the easiest negligence cases to bring before a judge.

Because Rosenberg is too cheap to hire him full time, Stanley supplements his income by doing a little detective work on the side. His newest client is Martin Kessler, who starts off his introduction very badly by declaring that he is a hit man. This shocks Stanley, who doesn't want to hear such a thing in case he is ever called to testify.

Right away the two men get into an argument over whether "hit man" is one word or two. The absurdity of Stanley arguing language usage with a supposed killer starts this novel off on a most fascinating foot, but it turns out that Kessler fronts as an English teacher at Harmon High School on West 92nd. Killing is just a sideline, and one that Kessler wishes to exit gracefully in retirement rather than being killed himself because one of his clients might feel that he knows too much or because he hasn't successfully completed his current mission.

He wishes to hire Stanley to watch his back, and Stanley very reluctantly accepts the case. He does so partly because he fears that Kessler may have to kill him if he doesn't, but he also feels that having a live English teacher is far better than having a dead killer.

Needless to say, everyone else thinks that Stanley has gone off the deep end. Richard Rosenberg defeats him on the points of the law and his weak legal standing should someone wind up getting shot. He goes to Police Sergeant MacAullif to have Kessler investigated, and he drives MacAullif nuts with his hypotheticals. Stanley needs the information, but he can't admit that a potential client has confessed to being a hit man. Read these passages and enjoy.

But the person who is most effective at drilling holes in all of his arguments is Alice, his loving, but long-suffering wife. Alice and Stanley have a relationship that reminds me of the Kramdens in the legendary television series, "The Honeymooners." That classic comedy also had an Alice who was light years ahead of her husband. Most of us husbands have learned long ago never to fight woman's intuition, and we also live with the sad fact that our wives are very nearly almost always right. This fits Alice in spades. She is as smart as a whip and just as fast.

Stanley never has a chance with her, but we find out that these two actually work very well together. Alice becomes invaluable in getting Stanley to focus on the realities and the distinct probabilities of the case instead of fixating on the hypotheticals. She will become very helpful when the probable happens and someone does wind up dead. Now the police, including Sergeant MacAullif, want to have a lot more than hypotheticals from Stanley. 2007, Pegasus Books, LLC, 263 pages.